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How To Improve Communication Skills And Your Personal Style
Here are six tips for improving your communication style:
1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once you become aware of your own communication style.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language and what tone of voice are you using?
Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You’ve just taken an important first step in how to improve communication skills.
2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those around you. How do the most important people in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.
3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don’t think it is too late to change your way of conversing because it’s been years. You had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.
A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn’t tell him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, ìWhy didn’t you tell me?î
Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.
4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other person’s movements, posture and verbal style. Don’t do everything they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.
Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.
5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best friend, in private.
Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information in a group setting.
6. Don’t criticize others for communicating differently. If we all communicated in the same way, we’d soon be bored with each other.
Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to accommodate other peoples’ styles, is a good way to improve your communication skills.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
History of Public Speaking
There never has been in the history of the world a time when the spoken word has been equaled in value and importance by any other means of communication. If one traces the development of mankind from what he considers its earliest stage he will find that the wandering family of savages depended entirely upon what its members said to one another. A little later when a group of families made a clan or tribe the individuals still heard the commands of the leader, or in tribal council voiced their own opinions. The beginnings of poetry show us the bard who recited to his audiences. Drama, in all primitive societies a valuable spreader of knowledge, entertainment, and religion, is entirely oral. In so late and well organized communities as the city republics of Greece all matters were discussed in open assemblies of the rather small populations.
Every great epoch of the world’s progress shows the supreme importance of speech upon human action individual and collective. In the Roman Forum were made speeches that affected the entire ancient world. Renaissance Italy, imperial Spain, unwieldy Russia, freedom loving England, revolutionary France, all experienced periods when the power of certain men to speak stirred other men into tempestuous action.
The history of the United States might almost be written as the continuous record of the influence of great speakers upon others. The colonists were led to concerted action by persuasive speeches. The Colonial Congresses and Constitutional Convention were dominated by powerful orators. The history of the slavery problem is mainly the story of famous speeches and debates. Most of the active representative Americans have been leaders because of their ability to impress their fellows by their power of expressing sentiments and enthusiasms which all would voice if they could. Presidents have been nominated and candidates elected because of this equipment.
During the Great War the millions of the world were as much concerned with what some of their leaders were saying as with what their other leaders were doing.
There is no aspect of modern life in which the spoken work is not supreme in importance. Representatives of the nations of the world deciding upon a peace treaty and deliberating upon a League of Nations sway and are swayed by speech. National assemblies from the strangely named new ones of infant nations to the century old organizations speak, and listen to speeches. In state legislatures, municipal councils, law courts, religious organizations, theaters, lodges, societies, boards of directors, stockholders’ meetings, business discussions, classrooms, dinner parties, social functions, friendly calls in every human relationship where two people meet there is communication by means of speech.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
How To Improve Communication Skills And Your Personal Style
Here are six tips for improving your communication style:
1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once you become aware of your own communication style.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language and what tone of voice are you using?
Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You’ve just taken an important first step in how to improve communication skills.
2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those around you. How do the most important people in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.
3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don’t think it is too late to change your way of conversing because it’s been years. You had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.
A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn’t tell him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, ìWhy didn’t you tell me?î
Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.
4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other person’s movements, posture and verbal style. Don’t do everything they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.
Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.
5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best friend, in private.
Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information in a group setting.
6. Don’t criticize others for communicating differently. If we all communicated in the same way, we’d soon be bored with each other.
Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to accommodate other peoples’ styles, is a good way to improve your communication skills.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
How to be a Public Speaking Star with The Use Of Computers
You can use computers to help you write your speech, as well as to help you research effectively, edit your work, check spelling and grammar and more. Computers can help you avoid wasting time; avoid never ending revising of your speech.
No, you will not be giving a speech using computers. A computer cannot speak for you on stage. No, that is not what this topic is about. I am saying computers can help you get in touch, while helping you search for information. You can use computers to help you write your speech, as well as to help you research effectively, edit your work, check spelling and grammar and more. Computers can help you avoid wasting time; avoid never ending revising of your speech.
A well-written speech should be typed on a computer. This looks more professional than handwriting. Furthermore, speeches often require research, support, correspondence and so forth. If you have a computer you can e-mail important messages much faster than taking the message to the post office. Furthermore, you can use the powerful Search Engine to find out any information you are searching for on the speech topic.
How much better can it get. The Internet has a variety of newsletters, articles, headlines, magazines, newspaper and more that can put you in connection faster with important facts needed to finish your speech. Imagine spending hours at the local library compared to spending a few minutes online. After all, it’s all about saving time and working sufficiently.
The Internet also has libraries all over the world with available information that will help you with the research process. Imagine delivering a ground-breaking speech to the public that is saturated with facts you can verify. The libraries often have helpful information and some libraries will literally find the information for you if it is not available in their library. As you can see you are not only saving time you are finding more information than you can deal with while writing your speech online.
While writing your speech you can also use spell checkers, grammar checkers and other tools to edit your speech. Furthermore, you are going to love this, you can actually use the Thesaurus to discover new words that might enhance your speech. The computers also give you the ability to research languages, i.e. if you want to point out something in Spanish in your speech, you will have the tools to do so even if you can’t speak Spanish.
Not only this, the time you spend writing your speech off the computer will stress you out. If you write, research and prepare your speech on a computer it will save you time, energy and money.
One important issue you want to keep in mind while writing a ground-breaking speech on a computer is that the Worldwide Web of Chaos has a bunch of suckers that will drag you into their arena. Stay out! Set your goal and plan ahead of the game and include in plan avoiding getting into computer based nonsense that will hinder you while writing your speech.
One thing you want to avoid also while writing your speech is stopping and revising the sentences as you write them. This will only hinder your progress. Instead, write the darn report and read it after you finish. If it makes sense and sounds good, use it, if it sounds disturbing…then you can edit the sentences.
As a writer one of the best tools I have is the ability to finish my articles, read them aloud, which helps me to spot out areas that needed brushing or polishing. In the world of editing you could nick and pick through every word and sometimes never find sense in the words, however, a good edit will read the words and define them carefully before considering abolishing the sentences. Thus, they look at structure, characters, grammar, spelling and more to decide whether it fits.
Conclusion
Overall the point is by using a computer; you can save time which in turn will reduce stress for you.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
Avoiding a Panic Attack and Public Speaking
Many people associate a panic attack and public speaking. They usually have had an anxiety-producing public speaking experience. They may test that past memory of public speaking again, but often the same anxiety reaction results. People who have to speak publicly on a frequent basis and suffer from panic attacks are always searching for a panic attack remedy.
Amber’s Story
Amber had many risk factors for panic attacks when she entered high school. Her mother had a history of anxiety as well as her older brother. Amber was successfully able to avoid a speech class until her final semester of school. In order to graduate, she was going to have to take speech.
Although she had never received a diagnosis of panic attacks or an anxiety disorder, Amber had always dreaded taking a public speaking class. Just the idea of standing up in front of a class of her peers caused Amber to feel dizzy and nauseous.
When Amber walked into her first day of class, the teacher could see how nervous she was. He came up to Amber after class and discussed her obvious discomfort with this public speaking class. Amber discussed her physical reaction to having to speak in front of her peers. She explained to her teacher how she was:
* Extremely Anxious
* Dizzy
* Nauseous
* Short of Breath
Amber’s teacher recommended that she visit with the school counselor before their next class meeting. Amber was embarrassed by her reaction and was even more anxious about having to meet with the school counselor, but she knew that she was not going to be able to graduate if she could not figure out some way to get through this class.
The school counselor was very familiar with the signs of a panic attack and especially with students feeling uncomfortable about speaking in front of their friends. To help Amber get through her next day of speech class the counselor recommended that Amber stand up in front of her family every time she wanted to talk that evening.
So Amber told her family what she was trying to do to help get over her fear of public speaking. At dinner, Amber stood up every time she asked to have an item passed to her. Before bed, Amber stood in front of her parents and brothers and did a pretend speech.
Although speaking in front of her family was a lot different than speaking in front of her peers, it did help her get through the next day of class without having a full blown panic attack. Amber was extremely uncomfortable during her speech class but was able to focus and get through the class.
As the semester continued on, Amber asked some of her friends to come to her house the night before she had a big speech due. She would then practice her speech on her close friends and family until she was able to get through it without an extreme amount of anxiety.
The technique Amber used to overcome her panic attacks is called systematic desensitization and is one of the most widely used remedies for people suffering from panic attacks.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
Argumentation: Turn It from Adversarial to Educational
Argumentation need not be adversarial. Used effectively, it can capture audience attention and enhance a speech. Do you know how to avoid being confrontational? Do you know how to make an argumentation educational?
Do you know the five things to consider when framing an argument for public speaking? If you follow this you can soften some of the opposing viewpoints.
Argumentation is usually associated with debate. Using argumentation in public speaking does not require being adversarial. To use it effectively can enhance the experience for the listener.
Your first thought might be to avoid it, especially when trying to persuade. The kind of argument being discussed here is not bickering or being obnoxious or even debate. Do not think of it as attacking the opposing point of view.
In its simplest form, it is putting forth reasons for or against a point of view. It can involve deductive reasoning, presentation and elaboration. It starts with a proposition, the expression of a point of view on a subject. Then supporting evidence is added and principles to support the proposition are used. Follow through with reasoning on the matter, applying inductions and deductions to the proposed thought.
An informative speech is presented as information or fact even though it is given as one personís interpretation of that information. Argumentation requires calling into question that interpretation and coming to its defense, refuting it, or offering a new view point.
Why Use Argumentation
Some subjects by their nature will have proponents on one side or the other feel there is a lack of empirical evidence. To come to a conclusion would be difficult because these issues are moral, scientific, religious, or too deep to be answered by scientific method alone. To address an audience in these instances will require using argumentation.
You need a Claim or Thesis Statement
Your speech needs to be on purpose. What do you want the audience to walk away with? What is your Most Wanted Response? Typically the narrower and more tightly focused the theme the better. So start with a focused claim or thesis statement.
For instance, to say evolution is wrong and creation is right or visa versa is so broad that it will amount to trying to lob a bag of stinky garbage into the opposing camps. However if you were to argue in a reasoning manner on a particular aspect of a belief, you might get a chance to come back for further discussion. Avoid the attack mentality.
As a general rule: Do not attack the closest and most cherished beliefs of those you want to persuade. This would be like telling your daughter not to love some guy she is already involved with. No matter how sleazy you think he is she will see him differently.
Also do not attack generalities. It would be like standing up wind and trying to bombard the opponents of your view with spray pepper in their eyes and then saying, canít you see? They will probably close their eyes before any damage can be done and they will stay closed until the danger is past or you are done talking.
However if you kindly and respectfully present why you find it hard to accept a particular proposition and provide good argumentation, you have a chance at eroding the support of the other sides view. Always respect their differing opinion.
For that matter, donít attack their opinion. It is something they possess and cherish. Rather, demonstrate why you find it difficult accept their opinion based on your evidence or logic. No emotions. Just sound reasons.
Think of your argumentation as a means of education. Rather than attacking a belief, youíre offering an alternative opinion.
Next acknowledge the reasons for differing opinions. Acknowledgement of these will help lay a foundation for the argument you will be presenting.
Building an argument requires knowing five things.
1) Is the audience friendly, hostile, or neutral? You need to know the audience to know how to proceed. If they agree with you, you will be preaching to the choir. If they disagree, an entirely different tactic is required.
2) Understanding why we have different opinions.
A) The different sides of the proposition have had different life experiences.
B) They may have had the similar experiences but have drawn different conclusions from them.
C) They look to a different authority or source as a basis for forming an opinion.
Any one single difference of opinion can involve one or all three of these reasons.
So to be able to profitably and reasonably present an argument requires understanding the causes for differing opinions. This enables the speech to deal with the root cause of the disagreement.
Next set the Ground Work
3) Identify the proposition for your audience. It needs to be phrased as an issue where clear affirmative and negative sides can be taken.
4) Give definition to any terms within the proposition. This makes it possible for everyone to understand the subject under consideration. Donít argue how sweet ëJonathaní Apples when your audience is thinking ëGranny Smithí apples. Take time to define these elements before presenting your argument.
5) Identify any issues that directly relate to the proposition and appeal to your Most Wanted Response. Focus on these to avoid rambling. Now youíre ready for evidence.
Argumentation in these instances requires creating credible arguments and identifying faulty reasoning at times using informal logic. Facts alone will not always win an argument. Being understanding, reasonable, and setting a few ground rules, argumentation can enhance a speech.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
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