Tag: gaining

 
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Be Confident Even In The Face Of Confidence Killers

You can be confident! All you have to do is rid yourself of confidence killers. Confidence killers are self-defeating thought patterns. Many of us walk through life with these harmful assumptions.

See if you’ve got any of these evildoers in your thoughts:

1. The All or Nothing Sniper:

This way of thinking is the reason you can’t seem to enjoy even the small wins you’ve been getting in life. I’ll bet you were the kid in school who went home crying when you got one wrong on a test!

You think you are a complete failure when your performance (whatever it is) is not perfect. You’d be confident if you didn’t spend so much energy being so hard on yourself!

2. The Dark Cloud of Destruction:

Look out! There is a disaster hiding behind every corner. Expect it. The Dark Cloud of Destruction makes you think silly things like: ëI failed my chemistry test; there is no point in even thinking about college, now.’

3. Warlord of Negative Magnification:

If you listen to this confidence killer you’ll never be confident. He’s got a warped idea that if it’s good- it doesn’t really count. He’ll take any little negative anthill and magnify it like it’s a mountain.

If you won 8 singing contests but had a cold for the 9th and came in second, he’ll harp on that ninth and you’ll never look at the 8 trophies as the great achievements they really are.

4. The ëIf I feel it, it must be so’ Monster:

This is like a computer worm that shuts down all the clear thinking parts of your brain! A person with this can never be confident until they learn that how they are feeling doesn’t necessarily match up with the truth. We all have days when we don’t look our best or perform at our best.

The ëI feel stupid so I must be stupid’ syndrome allows us to let our emotions run our lives. Don’t blindly accept emotions as truth. Be confident enough to think that tomorrow you probably will be feeling different.

5. The Sinister Should:

Perfectionists are good at should statements. Should statements are more about what your think other people expect from you than what you really want.

Should statements can be something like: Everybody should have an education plan. The person then thinks ë Oh, no! I don’t have an education plan! There must be something really wrong with me.’

6. Libellous Labeller:

Let’s throw this one in jail and throw away the key. You know the thought. It’s the one that we use to blame things on something. ëI am a loser. It must all be my fault.’ If you are going to think labels, label yourself a confident person.

7. Compliment Constrictor:

This creepy crawler just can’t seem to let you accept a compliment. For once, if someone tells you that you look good in that dress, don’t let the slimy one takeover and say: ëReally? I think it makes me look fat!

The good news is that recognizing any of these villains is half of the battle. So put on your white hat- train yourself to cancel these confidence-killing thoughts.

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Confidence Building Secrets Of True Winners

We all need some confidence building from time to time. Part of feeling confident has a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves. Feeling like we can accomplish things we set out to do is important to feeling confident.

Remember that we all have talents and gifts. Whether we feel confident in these skills is very much part of thinking like a winner. Here is an easy way you can train yourself to think like a winner.

Make yourself a ëto do’ list. Before you start complaining that you’ve tried that already in the past and it didn’t work, let’s go over the rules for this list. This is a list to make you feel like a winner.

It is your job to help yourself to feel as much like a winner as possible by making a list that is fun and easy to get done. I mean super easy. Ridiculously easy, even.

Here’s a sample list:

1. Get out of bed.
2. Brush my teeth and comb my hair.
3. Get dressed.
4. Eat something.
5. Eat something else.
6. Walk to a car, bus or another room.
7. Smile.
8. Answer the phone. But only if it rings.
9. Put socks on…

Are you getting the idea? This isn’t your average ëto do’ list. This is a sort of self-conditioning list. Seeing all those check marks or seeing everything crossed off your list will make you feel like you’ve had a productive day. You’ll gain confidence in your abilities to get things done.

If you practice this fun list making, you’ll come to think of yourself as a winner. If you forget to write the list one morning, write a ëdone’ list at the end of the day. Just list ëgot out of bed’, etc. and mark them off.

As silly as this confidence building list making may seem, bear in mind that the subconscious doesn’t care about what is real or imagined. All it will see is a list that has been checked off every day. Eventually, you’ll notice yourself feeling more confident. You can then start adding real tasks to your list and doing them with the same ëfeel good’ attitude you had when you made your practice lists.

Don’t add too many, to start. Camouflage the real items you want to accomplish with your stand-by easy ones. The reason you don’t want to do a complete shift in list writing is that feeling good is an important element of confidence building.

Just look at someone you know to be confident. Are they down in the mouth or smiling? Allow yourself the joy of having fun with life. You’ll feel like a winner!

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How To Communicate In His Love Language

Are you wondering how to communicate with that new man in your life? Or maybe you are just wondering about the next man in your life? New or old, it’s never too late to learn how to communicate in the language of love.

Maybe you’ve seen the tomboyish girl that somehow has men flocking around her. If you stopped turning green with envy for a moment, you’d notice why she was a man magnet. She just sort of fit herself into him, like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that he didn’t even know was missing.

Instead of rolling your eyes at that dazed and happy-in-love look he has on his face, why not look into how she did it? Learn these tips on how to communicate in a whole new way by getting to know his love language and speaking it fluently!

We all know that love is built on the solid foundation of communication. When we are in love we are on the same page as our lover. It’s a special level of communication that people in love have.

Some call it chemistry, but really, in order to even get to the chemistry stage you need to know his love language. For a clue as to what that might be, we need to understand how he relates to the world around him.

Everyone perceives their world with three senses – sight, sound and feelings. Psychologists have discovered that even though we use all three senses, one of these senses is always more pronounced. It doesn’t mean that it replaces the others, but if you pay attention, the more dominant one will reveal itself to you.

Asking questions is the easiest and fastest way to learn his language and since asking questions is the most common way to get to know someone or start a conversation, he’ll never suspect.

He’s just returned from a business trip. You ask about his trip. Pay attention to his answer:

1. If he’s visual he might say: the weather was terrible. I didn’t get to see the sun once!

2. An auditory guy will talk about sounds: we got the account, which was good. But the hotel I stayed at was too noisy.

3. He is a feeler if he answers something like: I have to admit; I’m not much into traveling alone. I get lonely when I visit new places.

Knowing a man’s love language is the key in how to communicate with him in a way that will make him feel that you are the missing piece to his puzzle. You’ll just fit. Of course, one question isn’t going to tell you. You’ll have to watch for a pattern to emerge.

Once you do find the prominent sense, you’ll want to speak his language. Talking with your visual man will be all about what you saw on the way over, while the auditory fellow will want to know about the new CD you just bought.

It doesn’t matter what your love language is. As long as you know how to communicate to him in his Love Language you’ll soon be the envy of all the other girls. That is, unless you tell them your secret.

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How To Communicate Better With Body Language Secrets

“I don’t let my mouth say nothin’ my head can’t stand.” Louis Armstrong

Since the 1970’s, learning how to communicate better has had a lot to do with understanding body language.

Julius Fast wrote a book entitled, Body Language in 1970. He talked about a new science called Kinesics. It opened the way to more studies and books on the subjects. Today, the term Body Language is very common and understood as an important element of communication.

In fact, experts in the field of communication suggest that there is a rule that says that 7% of the meaning of what a person is saying comes from their words.

Interestingly, 38% is based on the tone of their voice. 55% of the meaning comes from the body language of the person that is speaking. This rule comes from research that was published in the late 1960’s.

Some now think that the percentages from this research might be slightly different. Nevertheless, the bottom line is still the same. If you don’t know the basics of body language, you are missing a valuable tool for learning how to communicate better. We speak body language on a subliminal level, without actually realizing that we are communicating through body talk.

1. Face

The most expressive part of your body is your face. When you enter a room if you feel nervous, your expression might make you look aloof or unfriendly.

Smiling at the room is a sure-fire way to remove anyone’s doubts about your approachability. Smiling makes us look warm, open and confident.

2. Eyes

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. They certainly give people clues about what we are feeling.

A direct gaze towards someone can show interest- direct staring on the other hand can mean an intense dislike. Very little eye contact can show that you are shy.

3. Hands

Have you ever watched someone’s hand gestures when they are talking? Open hand gestures tend to make a person appear open and honest. Bringing hands together to a point can accent the point you are making.

Wringing your hands or excessively moving your fingers and hands will give away nervousness. It can even make someone look dishonest- are they trying to hide something?

4. Posture

If you lean towards someone you are showing an interest in that person. If we are feeling low in confidence, we tend to slouch our shoulders and look down.

Men and women use different body language. For instance, women will stand close to each other, hold eye contact with the person they are talking to and use gestures.

Men make little effort to maintain eye contact and don’t rely on the use of gestures to communicate. Men and women can learn how to communicate better by observing the differences in their use of body language.

Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment

More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar

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