Tag: speech
How To Improve Communication Skills And Your Personal Style
Here are six tips for improving your communication style:
1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once you become aware of your own communication style.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language and what tone of voice are you using?
Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You’ve just taken an important first step in how to improve communication skills.
2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those around you. How do the most important people in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.
3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don’t think it is too late to change your way of conversing because it’s been years. You had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.
A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn’t tell him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, ìWhy didn’t you tell me?î
Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.
4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other person’s movements, posture and verbal style. Don’t do everything they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.
Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.
5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best friend, in private.
Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information in a group setting.
6. Don’t criticize others for communicating differently. If we all communicated in the same way, we’d soon be bored with each other.
Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to accommodate other peoples’ styles, is a good way to improve your communication skills.
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How To Get the Most Out of Your Speaker Investment
In a perfect world, you would have an unlimited budget to hire top speakers for your next meeting or convention. Since it’s not, here are some tips on getting the most for your meeting dollar. Let me tell you about a project I worked on with the American Payroll Association that could be a model for you — or at least expand your thinking about ways to use speakers.<br><br>
APA’s Executive Director/CEO, Dan Maddux had a week of speaking and seminar slots to fill. Instead of assigning each slot to a different speaker, Dan chose to maximize the contribution of a few top people, using three of them in three different ways. That’s how Dan made 1 + 1 + 1 = 9. Three speakers used three ways equals nine slots filled. Here’s how such a move can save your organization and money and let you “trade up” to speakers you otherwise couldn’t afford.<br><br>
<b>Save on Hotels and Airfare</b><br>
Cutting the number of speakers might or might not reduce the total nights lodging needed, depending on your schedule. However, you’ll definitely save on transportation — for instance, three round-trips versus nine.<br><br>
<b>Speakers May Reduce Fee</b><br>
I can’t promise you that all speakers will do extra presentations for the same rates — they won’t. But the speaker you hired last year might have been more flexible if you had only thought to ask, “After your keynote, could you do a breakout session?” Or,” Could you emcee?” “Could you moderate a panel?” Even, “Our chairman is a bit nervous. Could you coach him on speaking?”<br><br>
Speakers may give you a better price for three consecutive days at one hotel, rather than three separate dates months apart.<br><br>
For example, for the Florida Realtors Association, I asked, “After my luncheon speech, would you like me to do a seminar on speaking skills?” They said, “Well, the agenda is already slotted in, but we’d love it if you would emcee our Top Producers’ panel, the first breakout session after lunch.”<br><br>
For the California Interment Association, I was scheduled to present a two-hour seminar after lunch. I said, “What else is going on? Would you like to me to do a spouse program?” They said, “We’ve never had one, but we’ve invited spouses for a breakfast get-together.” I added a 45-minute program that same morning. The only difference to me was that I had to go to the hotel a few hours earlier. Like most speakers, I want my clients to know I am there to serve them, not to pick up my speaking fee and run.<br><br>
<b>It’s Easier to Get Sponsors</b><br>
Trading up to big-name (or bigger-name) speakers makes it easier for you to get sponsors. Whenever people say, “We can’t afford you,” I always ask, “Do you have sponsors to help pay for your event?”<br><br>
Who would sponsor your event? Consider approaching the exhibitors at your conventions, or whoever sells to your members or who wants good PR with the people in the audience. List these “angels” prominently in the program. I always make a point of giving sponsors a good plug in my presentations. For example, after my opening story for the American Cemetery Association, I quoted the founder of my corporate sponsor, Service Corporation International. Then I gave examples to reinforce my points by reading from their newsletters, and my walk away line incorporated their name. I always let sponsor know, “Don’t worry, they won’t have any doubt who paid for me,” and make a joke about it in my speech.<br><br>
<b>Three Invaluable Bonuses</b><br>
Having speakers on hand throughout your event gives you far greater flexibility in scheduling. Continuity can establish a powerful connection between audience and speaker, getting your message across in a way that a wide variety of speakers couldn’t. Dan Maddux says, “We found that when we triple-booked those speakers, they become even more popular, really getting to know our people who always want them to stay around longer.” Continuity, during an event or from year to year, means your speakers are able to notice and volunteer to help your organization in special ways you may not have thought of.<br><br>
<b>How It Works</b><br>
Recently, 1,674 members of the American Payroll Association attended its Sixteenth Annual Congress in Nashville. Dan chose as keynote speakers Art Linkletter, Susan RoAne, Willy Jolley, Al Walker, and me, Patricia Fripp. He had little trouble getting sponsorship to help pay for these keynoters because of the success of his past conferences.<br><br>
The Congress was scheduled to start on a Monday. Dan came up with the idea of offering an extra pre-Congress program on Sunday, “For Women Only.” This isn’t as sexist as it may sound because seventy-five percent of APA’s membership is women. Dan figured that many could take advantage of cheaper Saturday night airline tickets, saving their company’s money, so they might be open to an extra day of education and fun.<br><br>
He called this extra program “Women on the Ladder to Success: Career Strategies for the Millennium,” and used six presenters. Three were from within the Association and industry, including the current president. Three were professional speakers who were also scheduled to speak during the main Congress. Each of the professionals gave two talks at this separate Sunday session. I did “Women in the Workplace, the Evolution of Career women” and “Are You a Wonder Woman or Superman in Payroll?” (In a custom-made Wonder Woman costume I had made 20 years ago. The fact I can still wear it deserves applause!) Susan RoAne spoke on “Taking Charge of Your Accomplishments” and “Women Who Make Things Happen: Traits of the Savvy and Successful.” Diane Parente’s programs were “Your Passport to Image Credibility” and “Looking Your Professional Best Without Spending a Fortune.”<br><br>
Then, at the kick-off Monday session for the full membership, Susan was the keynote speaker with “Schmooze or Loose: How to Gain the Verbal Edge.” She also presented a program for the vendors, “How to Make the Most of the Trade Show.” Diane Parente delivered a breakout session on “Image, a Powerful Tool,” and gave Dan’s Board of Directors one-on-one consultation as a bonus. (17 in all.) I delivered the Congress’s keynote speech, “Insights into Excellence,” presented a marketing seminar for the vendors, “How to Nurture Relationships Once You Leave the Trade Show,” and, as a break-out, conducted a workshop on “How to Sell Yourself and Your Ideas.”<br><br>
Having booked the Sunday before the conference, Maddux thought of a way to use his talent pool for a Speakers’ School on Saturday. Last year this program had been a success, but with a smaller audience of their speakers who talk on tax law changes, it had not justified a hiring a keynote caliber presenter to teach it.<br><br>
As I was already going to be there for several days I was excited at the prospect. I suggested we invite his association members scheduled to give programs during the congress. He also invite the APA leadership from the State chapters who have to speak at their meetings and get no formal public speaking training. As far as I am concerned the more the merrier. I charge the same whether my audience is five or 5,000. After the session I helped the President and Woman of the Year totally rewrite their talks. They have now requested I train them at least 3 months before next yearÌs convention.<br><br>
<b>Synergy Makes Good Sense</b><br>
Dan says “Using proven professionals in several slots so they develop a rapport with the audience is a better investment than bringing in a different speaker for each slot. In our case, two of the speakers, Diane and Patricia, had been so successful as keynoters the previous year that the audience was looking forward to seeing them again. This gave us the advantage of repeat role models, because our presidents turn over every year. The added fact that Patricia, Diane, and Susan had worked together before, and are best friends, gave us even more bang for our buck. We could never have put a dollar value on that kind of synergy.<br><br>
“I need my speakers to deliver a message and be powerful role models. Patricia, Diane, and Susan are all self-made women over fifty, looking good, feeling good, and they’ve built their careers themselves. This is an important message for our Association audience.”<br><br>
<b>More Bang for Your Buck</b><br>
Dan Maddux was able to negotiate with his speakers for a lot of extras. Many professionals figure that, as long as they are there anyway and being well paid, their time belongs to the client. Therefore, they are happy to take on extra tasks.<br><br>
The next time you are planning to hire a speaker, consider using him or her in multiple ways. It doesn’t hurt to ask if the speaker would be willing to:<br><br>
<ul><li>Deliver one or two “breakout sessions” or a spouse program along with the keynote at the same half-day fee.</li>
<li>Introduce other speakers.</li>
<li>Emcee the event that they are part of.</li>
<li>Help association Presidents of Board of Directors with their own presentations, either in advance or while the speaker is there.</li>
<li>Say a prayer at a meal.</li>
<li>Moderate a panel.</li>
<li>Sign autographs.</li>
<li>Appear in the sponsor’s booth to make their sponsorship more of an investment.</li></ul>
Like most of my comrades in The National Speakers Association, I want to be memorable and to give full value for your meeting dollars. For the Hamilton Bank in Philadelphia, I even leaped out of a spaceship, wearing a Wonder Woman costume. (Getting into the spaceship was a little more complicated, but that’s another story.)
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How to be a Public Speaking Star with The Use Of Computers
You can use computers to help you write your speech, as well as to help you research effectively, edit your work, check spelling and grammar and more. Computers can help you avoid wasting time; avoid never ending revising of your speech.
No, you will not be giving a speech using computers. A computer cannot speak for you on stage. No, that is not what this topic is about. I am saying computers can help you get in touch, while helping you search for information. You can use computers to help you write your speech, as well as to help you research effectively, edit your work, check spelling and grammar and more. Computers can help you avoid wasting time; avoid never ending revising of your speech.
A well-written speech should be typed on a computer. This looks more professional than handwriting. Furthermore, speeches often require research, support, correspondence and so forth. If you have a computer you can e-mail important messages much faster than taking the message to the post office. Furthermore, you can use the powerful Search Engine to find out any information you are searching for on the speech topic.
How much better can it get. The Internet has a variety of newsletters, articles, headlines, magazines, newspaper and more that can put you in connection faster with important facts needed to finish your speech. Imagine spending hours at the local library compared to spending a few minutes online. After all, it’s all about saving time and working sufficiently.
The Internet also has libraries all over the world with available information that will help you with the research process. Imagine delivering a ground-breaking speech to the public that is saturated with facts you can verify. The libraries often have helpful information and some libraries will literally find the information for you if it is not available in their library. As you can see you are not only saving time you are finding more information than you can deal with while writing your speech online.
While writing your speech you can also use spell checkers, grammar checkers and other tools to edit your speech. Furthermore, you are going to love this, you can actually use the Thesaurus to discover new words that might enhance your speech. The computers also give you the ability to research languages, i.e. if you want to point out something in Spanish in your speech, you will have the tools to do so even if you can’t speak Spanish.
Not only this, the time you spend writing your speech off the computer will stress you out. If you write, research and prepare your speech on a computer it will save you time, energy and money.
One important issue you want to keep in mind while writing a ground-breaking speech on a computer is that the Worldwide Web of Chaos has a bunch of suckers that will drag you into their arena. Stay out! Set your goal and plan ahead of the game and include in plan avoiding getting into computer based nonsense that will hinder you while writing your speech.
One thing you want to avoid also while writing your speech is stopping and revising the sentences as you write them. This will only hinder your progress. Instead, write the darn report and read it after you finish. If it makes sense and sounds good, use it, if it sounds disturbing…then you can edit the sentences.
As a writer one of the best tools I have is the ability to finish my articles, read them aloud, which helps me to spot out areas that needed brushing or polishing. In the world of editing you could nick and pick through every word and sometimes never find sense in the words, however, a good edit will read the words and define them carefully before considering abolishing the sentences. Thus, they look at structure, characters, grammar, spelling and more to decide whether it fits.
Conclusion
Overall the point is by using a computer; you can save time which in turn will reduce stress for you.
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Avoiding a Panic Attack and Public Speaking
Many people associate a panic attack and public speaking. They usually have had an anxiety-producing public speaking experience. They may test that past memory of public speaking again, but often the same anxiety reaction results. People who have to speak publicly on a frequent basis and suffer from panic attacks are always searching for a panic attack remedy.
Amber’s Story
Amber had many risk factors for panic attacks when she entered high school. Her mother had a history of anxiety as well as her older brother. Amber was successfully able to avoid a speech class until her final semester of school. In order to graduate, she was going to have to take speech.
Although she had never received a diagnosis of panic attacks or an anxiety disorder, Amber had always dreaded taking a public speaking class. Just the idea of standing up in front of a class of her peers caused Amber to feel dizzy and nauseous.
When Amber walked into her first day of class, the teacher could see how nervous she was. He came up to Amber after class and discussed her obvious discomfort with this public speaking class. Amber discussed her physical reaction to having to speak in front of her peers. She explained to her teacher how she was:
* Extremely Anxious
* Dizzy
* Nauseous
* Short of Breath
Amber’s teacher recommended that she visit with the school counselor before their next class meeting. Amber was embarrassed by her reaction and was even more anxious about having to meet with the school counselor, but she knew that she was not going to be able to graduate if she could not figure out some way to get through this class.
The school counselor was very familiar with the signs of a panic attack and especially with students feeling uncomfortable about speaking in front of their friends. To help Amber get through her next day of speech class the counselor recommended that Amber stand up in front of her family every time she wanted to talk that evening.
So Amber told her family what she was trying to do to help get over her fear of public speaking. At dinner, Amber stood up every time she asked to have an item passed to her. Before bed, Amber stood in front of her parents and brothers and did a pretend speech.
Although speaking in front of her family was a lot different than speaking in front of her peers, it did help her get through the next day of class without having a full blown panic attack. Amber was extremely uncomfortable during her speech class but was able to focus and get through the class.
As the semester continued on, Amber asked some of her friends to come to her house the night before she had a big speech due. She would then practice her speech on her close friends and family until she was able to get through it without an extreme amount of anxiety.
The technique Amber used to overcome her panic attacks is called systematic desensitization and is one of the most widely used remedies for people suffering from panic attacks.
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Argumentation: Turn It from Adversarial to Educational
Argumentation need not be adversarial. Used effectively, it can capture audience attention and enhance a speech. Do you know how to avoid being confrontational? Do you know how to make an argumentation educational?
Do you know the five things to consider when framing an argument for public speaking? If you follow this you can soften some of the opposing viewpoints.
Argumentation is usually associated with debate. Using argumentation in public speaking does not require being adversarial. To use it effectively can enhance the experience for the listener.
Your first thought might be to avoid it, especially when trying to persuade. The kind of argument being discussed here is not bickering or being obnoxious or even debate. Do not think of it as attacking the opposing point of view.
In its simplest form, it is putting forth reasons for or against a point of view. It can involve deductive reasoning, presentation and elaboration. It starts with a proposition, the expression of a point of view on a subject. Then supporting evidence is added and principles to support the proposition are used. Follow through with reasoning on the matter, applying inductions and deductions to the proposed thought.
An informative speech is presented as information or fact even though it is given as one personís interpretation of that information. Argumentation requires calling into question that interpretation and coming to its defense, refuting it, or offering a new view point.
Why Use Argumentation
Some subjects by their nature will have proponents on one side or the other feel there is a lack of empirical evidence. To come to a conclusion would be difficult because these issues are moral, scientific, religious, or too deep to be answered by scientific method alone. To address an audience in these instances will require using argumentation.
You need a Claim or Thesis Statement
Your speech needs to be on purpose. What do you want the audience to walk away with? What is your Most Wanted Response? Typically the narrower and more tightly focused the theme the better. So start with a focused claim or thesis statement.
For instance, to say evolution is wrong and creation is right or visa versa is so broad that it will amount to trying to lob a bag of stinky garbage into the opposing camps. However if you were to argue in a reasoning manner on a particular aspect of a belief, you might get a chance to come back for further discussion. Avoid the attack mentality.
As a general rule: Do not attack the closest and most cherished beliefs of those you want to persuade. This would be like telling your daughter not to love some guy she is already involved with. No matter how sleazy you think he is she will see him differently.
Also do not attack generalities. It would be like standing up wind and trying to bombard the opponents of your view with spray pepper in their eyes and then saying, canít you see? They will probably close their eyes before any damage can be done and they will stay closed until the danger is past or you are done talking.
However if you kindly and respectfully present why you find it hard to accept a particular proposition and provide good argumentation, you have a chance at eroding the support of the other sides view. Always respect their differing opinion.
For that matter, donít attack their opinion. It is something they possess and cherish. Rather, demonstrate why you find it difficult accept their opinion based on your evidence or logic. No emotions. Just sound reasons.
Think of your argumentation as a means of education. Rather than attacking a belief, youíre offering an alternative opinion.
Next acknowledge the reasons for differing opinions. Acknowledgement of these will help lay a foundation for the argument you will be presenting.
Building an argument requires knowing five things.
1) Is the audience friendly, hostile, or neutral? You need to know the audience to know how to proceed. If they agree with you, you will be preaching to the choir. If they disagree, an entirely different tactic is required.
2) Understanding why we have different opinions.
A) The different sides of the proposition have had different life experiences.
B) They may have had the similar experiences but have drawn different conclusions from them.
C) They look to a different authority or source as a basis for forming an opinion.
Any one single difference of opinion can involve one or all three of these reasons.
So to be able to profitably and reasonably present an argument requires understanding the causes for differing opinions. This enables the speech to deal with the root cause of the disagreement.
Next set the Ground Work
3) Identify the proposition for your audience. It needs to be phrased as an issue where clear affirmative and negative sides can be taken.
4) Give definition to any terms within the proposition. This makes it possible for everyone to understand the subject under consideration. Donít argue how sweet ëJonathaní Apples when your audience is thinking ëGranny Smithí apples. Take time to define these elements before presenting your argument.
5) Identify any issues that directly relate to the proposition and appeal to your Most Wanted Response. Focus on these to avoid rambling. Now youíre ready for evidence.
Argumentation in these instances requires creating credible arguments and identifying faulty reasoning at times using informal logic. Facts alone will not always win an argument. Being understanding, reasonable, and setting a few ground rules, argumentation can enhance a speech.
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Be Confident Even In The Face Of Confidence Killers
You can be confident! All you have to do is rid yourself of confidence killers. Confidence killers are self-defeating thought patterns. Many of us walk through life with these harmful assumptions.
See if you’ve got any of these evildoers in your thoughts:
1. The All or Nothing Sniper:
This way of thinking is the reason you can’t seem to enjoy even the small wins you’ve been getting in life. I’ll bet you were the kid in school who went home crying when you got one wrong on a test!
You think you are a complete failure when your performance (whatever it is) is not perfect. You’d be confident if you didn’t spend so much energy being so hard on yourself!
2. The Dark Cloud of Destruction:
Look out! There is a disaster hiding behind every corner. Expect it. The Dark Cloud of Destruction makes you think silly things like: ëI failed my chemistry test; there is no point in even thinking about college, now.’
3. Warlord of Negative Magnification:
If you listen to this confidence killer you’ll never be confident. He’s got a warped idea that if it’s good- it doesn’t really count. He’ll take any little negative anthill and magnify it like it’s a mountain.
If you won 8 singing contests but had a cold for the 9th and came in second, he’ll harp on that ninth and you’ll never look at the 8 trophies as the great achievements they really are.
4. The ëIf I feel it, it must be so’ Monster:
This is like a computer worm that shuts down all the clear thinking parts of your brain! A person with this can never be confident until they learn that how they are feeling doesn’t necessarily match up with the truth. We all have days when we don’t look our best or perform at our best.
The ëI feel stupid so I must be stupid’ syndrome allows us to let our emotions run our lives. Don’t blindly accept emotions as truth. Be confident enough to think that tomorrow you probably will be feeling different.
5. The Sinister Should:
Perfectionists are good at should statements. Should statements are more about what your think other people expect from you than what you really want.
Should statements can be something like: Everybody should have an education plan. The person then thinks ë Oh, no! I don’t have an education plan! There must be something really wrong with me.’
6. Libellous Labeller:
Let’s throw this one in jail and throw away the key. You know the thought. It’s the one that we use to blame things on something. ëI am a loser. It must all be my fault.’ If you are going to think labels, label yourself a confident person.
7. Compliment Constrictor:
This creepy crawler just can’t seem to let you accept a compliment. For once, if someone tells you that you look good in that dress, don’t let the slimy one takeover and say: ëReally? I think it makes me look fat!
The good news is that recognizing any of these villains is half of the battle. So put on your white hat- train yourself to cancel these confidence-killing thoughts.
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